"The Darkness" (with an alternative ending)

"The Darkness"

I can feel it-
The darkness creeping in-
As it surrounds me.
I don't want to let it win.

Just want to run,
But I cannot leave
Because I choke from fear-
Unable to move or breathe.

Its strength takes hold
As its permeates through.
I fight to keep here,
But am not able to.

And as I go under,
My thoughts turn toward you.
Then, I become sad because
I know I'll never be with you

The darkness is too strong,
I cannot escape.
And to it, I succumb,
Even as I pray.

My breath catches,
My heart stops
As the darkness changes me.
And a tear as I die, from me drops.


Author:  April Morone
Date, written:  Oct. 18th, 2012

*Should this have an alternative ending?-a positive ending?  If yes, what about this ending, below (I've included the full poem along with the alternative ending that the extra stanza will add so that it can be easier to put together in the readers' minds).

"The Darkness"

I can feel it-
The darkness creeping in-
As it surrounds me.
I don't want to let it win.

Just want to run,
But I cannot leave
Because I choke from fear-
Unable to move or breathe.

Its strength takes hold
As its permeates through.
I fight to keep here,
But am not able to.

And as I go under,
My thoughts turn toward you.
Then, I become sad because
I know I'll never be with you

The darkness is too strong,
I cannot escape.
And to it, I succumb,
Even as I pray.

My breath catches,
My heart stops
As the darkness changes me.
And a tear as I die, from me drops.

*(Additional stanza to give an alternative ending)***

I feel my breath come in
As I come to, once again.
I'm glad to be alive, once more.
Apparently, life did win.

I look up into your worried eyes
And I gently smile.
Then, thank you for saving me.
You tell me to rest a while.

Then you caress my face
And lie down next to me.
And you fall asleep
While holding me.

And I thank God for you,
Silently.

Author:  April Morone
Date, written:  Oct. 18th, 2012

*Is this Goth, at all?  What category does this poem fit?

*This poem has an alternative ending (a revised alternative ending, at that).  Both versions are actually based on true situations (I'd both experienced death, being brought back, as well as experienced what it is like to have someone be by your side before, during, and after it (the death process).  Above, are the culminations of those two experiences I'd had in life.  But, because I know that most people experience situations like the first situation, where they aren't able to be brought back to life, again, after death happens, the first version of this poem about this situation could be the better choice.  The second poem doesn't happen as often, though it is a good and positive ending, which is why I wrote it-so that people could have a positive ending.  I need critiquing and all thoughts and opinions on this, please.

"How I see"

“How I See”

I am legally blind.

But, I see

The beauty all around me

That is known to me

That is not available to most people

Because they can see, clearly.

And when outside in my front yard,

I see

The white light particles on the blurry bright green leaves

Of sun light as it cascades down

That remind me of Christmas lights on a Christmas tree.

I “see,” too,

The textures of those leaves

Known well to me

As they are felt by my fingers tips

As a way for me to see

What the textures are like

Of those Oak tree leaves.

And, I also see

Beams of light that emanate around

Objects that are breathe-taking when seen,

And see the edges that aren’t so sharp

Of everything around me.

I hear the sounds of rustling

Of those old Oak trees

That I can hear

When my hearing aids are in,

If all else is quiet –

And I feel the wind is felt more strongly

Because it is harder for me to see.

And it helps me to “see” the Oak tree’s beauty.

While being a little blind can be

A bit of a challenge, daily,

Things of my yard are more beautiful

In this partially blind reality.

Author: April Morone

Date, Written: Oct. 15^th, 2012

"How" (a post about dealing with an addict)

“How”

How do you deal with an addict?

How do you make them okay?

Tell me how you deal with an addict

Cus I don’t know

And I feel like I’m losing a bit of myself

Along the way.

How do you deal with an addict?

How do you remain calm, patient and happy

When they are screaming at you in anger

From a high or from withdrawals?

A way to deal with it, I cannot see.

And it can be so trying on me

When I see the anger displayed

For all the world to see

By this addict who is part

Of my family,

And then see the sadness and insecurities he shows,

And hear his pleas for me to be by his side

Because he knows

That I will be there for him, still,

Unlike the rest of our family,

Who, from him, hide,

Because they’ve given up on him.

I don’t want to abandon him, right now.

But, it can make me feel like I’ll go crasy

From too much more of this.

So, please tell me,

How do you deal with an addict?

Author:  April Morone

Date, written:  Sept. 29^th, 2012

"The Devil in You" (revised)

"The Devil in You" (revised)

You smother me with innocence, feigned,

At what you'd done to me,

As though you'd not just acted insane,

In front of the world to me.

Your rage and hypocrisy

Chokes the life from me,

Just as you'd done, before,

Physically to me.

So, I disconnect from you

And away from the rage you show

To no one else but me.

Your rage, most still don't know-

A rage you seem to show

As though a secret for me-

A terrifying secret-

That you only show towards me.

I'm now free from your rage.

No marks left by you,

Which can be worse simply because

There's now no way to prove your abuse.

But now that I have gone away,

You threaten suicide,

Not caring that I'll feel responsible

If from that, you should die.

Yet, I don't want you here-

Need you gone far away-

So that I can breathe and smile, again,

And so life can be okay.

The heady, overwhelming effect you have

Just being in my life

Is caused by you because

You bring so much strife.

Sometimes, I wish you gone,

Completely, from this world

So that you could plaque no one else

By your harmful ways you've unfurled.

But, I say nothing about this

Of my secret wish,

And try to live, positively

Away from where it'd been hellish.

Author: April Morone (aka 'Annika Doe')

Written: Sept. 28th, 2012