Thursday, October 18, 2012

"The Darkness" (with an alternative ending)


"The Darkness"

I can feel it-
The darkness creeping in-
As it surrounds me.
I don't want to let it win.

Just want to run,
But I cannot leave
Because I choke from fear-
Unable to move or breathe.

Its strength takes hold
As its permeates through.
I fight to keep here,
But am not able to.

And as I go under,
My thoughts turn toward you.
Then, I become sad because
I know I'll never be with you

The darkness is too strong,
I cannot escape.
And to it, I succumb,
Even as I pray.

My breath catches,
My heart stops
As the darkness changes me.
And a tear as I die, from me drops.


Author:  April Morone
Date, written:  Oct. 18th, 2012

*Should this have an alternative ending?-a positive ending?  If yes, what about this ending, below (I've included the full poem along with the alternative ending that the extra stanza will add so that it can be easier to put together in the readers' minds).

"The Darkness"

I can feel it-
The darkness creeping in-
As it surrounds me.
I don't want to let it win.

Just want to run,
But I cannot leave
Because I choke from fear-
Unable to move or breathe.

Its strength takes hold
As its permeates through.
I fight to keep here,
But am not able to.

And as I go under,
My thoughts turn toward you.
Then, I become sad because
I know I'll never be with you

The darkness is too strong,
I cannot escape.
And to it, I succumb,
Even as I pray.

My breath catches,
My heart stops
As the darkness changes me.
And a tear as I die, from me drops.

*(Additional stanza to give an alternative ending)***

I feel my breath come in
As I come to, once again.
I'm glad to be alive, once more.
Apparently, life did win.

I look up into your worried eyes
And I gently smile.
Then, thank you for saving me.
You tell me to rest a while.

Then you caress my face
And lie down next to me.
And you fall asleep
While holding me.

And I thank God for you,
Silently.

Author:  April Morone
Date, written:  Oct. 18th, 2012

*Is this Goth, at all?  What category does this poem fit?

*This poem has an alternative ending (a revised alternative ending, at that).  Both versions are actually based on true situations (I'd both experienced death, being brought back, as well as experienced what it is like to have someone be by your side before, during, and after it (the death process).  Above, are the culminations of those two experiences I'd had in life.  But, because I know that most people experience situations like the first situation, where they aren't able to be brought back to life, again, after death happens, the first version of this poem about this situation could be the better choice.  The second poem doesn't happen as often, though it is a good and positive ending, which is why I wrote it-so that people could have a positive ending.  I need critiquing and all thoughts and opinions on this, please.

Monday, October 15, 2012

"How I see"



“How I See”

I am legally blind.
But, I see
The beauty all around me
That is known to me
That is not available to most people
Because they can see, clearly.
And when outside in my front yard,
I see
The white light particles on the blurry bright green leaves
Of sun light as it cascades down
That remind me of Christmas lights on a Christmas tree.
I “see,” too,
The textures of those leaves
Known well to me
As they are felt by my fingers tips
As a way for me to see
What the textures are like
Of those Oak tree leaves.
And, I also see
Beams of light that emanate around
Objects that are breathe-taking when seen,
And see the edges that aren’t so sharp
Of everything around me.
I hear the sounds of rustling
Of those old Oak trees
That I can hear
When my hearing aids are in,
If all else is quiet –
And I feel the wind is felt more strongly
Because it is harder for me to see.
And it helps me to “see” the Oak tree’s beauty.
While being a little blind can be
A bit of a challenge, daily,
Things of my yard are more beautiful
In this partially blind reality.


Author: April Morone
Date, Written: Oct. 15th, 2012